As a young child, I search your face for clues as to the state of your happiness that day. It is instinctive – my sense of calm, peace and joy is entwined with yours. So I am keenly attuned to each flicker of your eyes, every shadow that crosses over your features, your nuanced smile. If you are sad, so am I. If you are content, I relax. If you are sad, I try to rescue you. If you experience joy, I am ecstatic – even more so if I am the cause of that joy.

As an adolescent, I chafe under your constant worry, irrationally angered by your concern over my welfare. We slide apart as I no longer confide to you. Although you seem to know everything without my saying a word.

As a foolish young woman, I disregard your advice because I, of course, think I know better. I will not make any mistakes in my life path. So, of course, I plunge headlong into many.

As an adult, I am astonished at the perspicacity and wisdom you tried to share with me. Too late to tell you how wonderful you are. Your innate good sense, multiplied by the breadth of your experiences, provided a fountainhead of integrity in its approach to life. I should have listened more.

As a mother myself, I am amazed at your perseverance and courage in the love you provided your children. Your limitless capacity to love again and to keep loving, no matter the tragedies you had to endure. 

Now that I am no longer anyone’s child, I treasure your love. Our time together was all too fleeting. I miss our calls, I miss your badgering me, and I miss your arms holding me tight. Your sneaking cookies into my bunk at summer camp. Your leaving me your lipstick when you left for a long visit to family, so I had something of you to hold onto. Your preparing a late-night snack for me as I pored over my textbooks, preparing for an exam the next day. Your holding my children, drinking in their presence, promising them to be their shield, their armor, their sanctuary.

A mother’s love – all-encompassing, forgiving, non-judgmental. A respite, a refuge. A gift.

We all need to be loved. 

So, on this Mother’s Day, I share with you an easy, quick recipe that will get the serotonins flowing, reminding you of happiness, well-being and the love of moms.

Coconut haystacks

Toasted shredded coconut. 

8 oz to 1 pound chocolate

Preheat oven to 325 to toast coconut. Microwave the chocolate until melted, stirring.  Mix the coconut into the melted chocolate, to taste. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Using a small teaspoon, drop small spoonfuls of the mixture onto the sheet. Refrigerate until chocolate is set, about 30 minutes.

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